As you sit there, baffled at the abnormal title, you can't help but think, "What the hell is this guy talking about? There's nothing wrong with South Park!" Fear not, I'm very prone to agree with you. Much like the millions around North America who can't help but tune in each week, I am a South Park addict. Yes, I am thoroughly and heartily entertained by all aspects of the show, from the risque and discreet jokes to the blatent and incessant variations of insulting Cartman's weight, I just love it all.

So now you invariably wonder, "Okay, then what's with the title?"

Well, as you know, this instant phenomenon of a cartoon has attracted almost as much controversy as it has a fan following. Inadequate parents crying "Off the air!" because the show is inappropriate for their children, groups lobbying to ban or censor the antics of the South Park kids, and countless adults in positions of authority disgusted by the kind of filthy talk that kids have picked up from the show. So although I don't agree with where they're coming from, I can understand why this little show would cause such an uproar. Hence, my list of examples.

Kenny: Yes, in the eyes of some people, the thought of a little boy dying hideously, only to be reborn a week later is a little grotesque. Okay.

Chef: Hell, this one doesn't need explaining. Would you want your kids listening to one of those steamy songs (even if they are coming from the mouth of Isaac Hayes)??

Stan, Kyle, Cartman, Wendy, etc: Bleeped or not, these kids spew some pretty offensive stuff, and believe it or not, kids watching know what is being said, and will undeniably mimmick it.

Kenny again: Good God, can you imagine how the general public would react if they ever found out what Kenny actually says?

Jesus: If you're the religious type, I don't doubt that the whole character that they use to portray Jesus would seem a tad -- no, VERY sacreligious.

Satan: Again, those religious types wouldn't really enjoy the vision of an enormous Satan kicking the crap out of a scrawny little Jesus (overlooking the fact that Jesus won, albeit through the fact that Satan took a dive, but anyway...)

The Visitors: Now, is the thought of aliens sticking anal probes in an eight year old's ass your cup of tea? Funny, yes. Appropriate for consumption by the masses, probably not.

Weight Gain 4000: Yeah, I guess overweight people probably wouldn't like this episode too much.

Jimbo & Ned: Animal Rights Activists, and anyone who cares for the animals are likely appaled by these characters. Can you blame them?

Mr. Garrison: The idea of an aging man with a seeming infatuation and lifelong relationship with a hand puppet is a little unwholesome, perhaps even disturbing. Probably not the vision of a role model teacher.

Terrance & Philip: If you can't figure this one out, you must be stupid.

Ms./Mr. Cartman: Her (his?) promiscuity and explanation to her (his?) son about the facts of life (never mind the fact about being a hermaphrodite) probably registers this character as a questionable one.

Officer Barbrady: Hey, if I was a cop, this would really piss me off.

Ike: Through no fault of his own, this little football... err, baby has set a horrible example that could result in small babies being booted around the house by older siblings all across the nation. That would NOT be a pretty sight.

Grandpa Marsh: Yeah, maybe he wants to die, but parents may worry that this could be interpreted by their kids as a message that all grandparents wish to be killed by their grandchildren. Sounds absurd? Well, don't doubt it.

And the list could go on and on, but, being a television junkie, I have a significantly depleted attention span, and therefore am too damn lazy to even remember any other characters. Now sure, I'll bet that you're still firmly behind your belief that there is nothing wrong with South Park. And I say, more power to you. I love the show, and in most cases, am unoffended by its content and wonder how anyone else could be insane enough to consider it offensive as well.

But that's me. Remember, there are many different kinds of people with many different kinds of opinions roaming around. So, as long as they don't actually do anything to cancel South Park or get it censored further, let them whine and complain. If they ignore the show, it won't hurt them... but they are still entitled to their opinions. Therefore, before you dismiss what they say as paranoid attempts at censorship, overcompensation for faulty parenting or whatever, take a look at this little show of ours, and you'll discover something.

There's NOTHING WRONG with South Park. At least, not to YOU.